What’s Behind Mary’s Eyes?

So I make it to her house a little early. The cab was really prompt so I had no choice.

I pick up the paper and inspect the outside of the condo, as usual. Nothing seems different, and everything seems in place. The lights are on, and I see a shadow moving about so she is awake. I pull open the screen door, and knock.

Freeze time! Stop in this moment… My mind replays a litany of situations. Good and bad, I review what could be once she opens the door. Is it spunky, silver, sassy and sweet? Will it be a mess of confusion and worry? I honestly don’t know. I only let that thought worry me for that second.

And, she opens the door. This morning, it is confusion. She seems just a little off her game. This means about an hour of conversation about how it’s ok to forget things sometimes, and that she has nothing to worry about because I’m here. I’ll be your memory, and you can just look to me when you get lost up there in your mind.

I know how much of a labyrinth the mind can be. I know what it feels like to forget simple things.

So what that you missed your blood pressure medications? You took a dose this morning, your fine. And that mistake was a good mistake to make. We will just talk tonight and we will take them together. I need a friend too. If I miss mine its certain trouble, you can miss yours and it will be fine. I’ll just call you and we can do it together.

So what that the trash bag was already tied up when she asked me why the kitchen was so stinky? I know she told me she took it out. So what?

I can handle that! Sweetie, it’s ok. The terror is over now and we need to watch some “Blue Bloods” so we can get them off your DVR. You daughter will be calling soon, and then you can just hop into the shower and let that warm water soothe all that worry out.

The phone rings, her daughter is on time. I slip out on her patio, to take some breaths. She is fine and healthy, and there is no emergency. Break time is over, back into the house.

She’s off to the shower now. I pull out the vacuum, and the mops. I got only a few minutes to clean up a bit. Quick to the floors, the surfaces. I gather her mail, her newspapers, flyers, and notes. Organize it all and sort it out.

Quick to the medication holder to fill her daily medications. Remember to go over how you’re going to make sure she understands what to do. Run the dishwasher, its been full it seems for days. Its only been two.

The door of her room opens and out springs a squeaky clean sassy senior. That shower worked wonders, and now her TV has “Blue Bloods” on repeat. AH, yes! She settles into her recliner, grinning at Tom Selleck’s moustache.

As I watch this show with her, she falls asleep in the middle of a sentence. I gently pull the lever on the chair, and let her feet up. She deserves every nap she wants to take.

She is a believer, and so am I. Lets just take a nap and dream about Jesus. I can’t nap but ill daydream that’s what she’s dreaming about.

And now its noon and I need to leave. My time is over with her today. I want to hug her so tight, but that osteoporosis makes her feel so delicate. I’ll call you tonight, honey. I love you.

It’s in my DNA. It’s what I do.



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